Responsibilities of Couples

It’s been 70 days, 1668 hours, 100, 080 minutes since 18th May 2008. The wedding we have waited for 1 year. You remember the fairy tale stories we’ve heard and seen while growing up? I’m sure you know that most of them ended in a wedding were they live happily ever after. Then reality bites. Practically speaking, wedding is the legal contract binding of two different people. It’s the union not only as husband and wife but of their rights and privileges as a couple. The man will then be transformed from being a bachelor who enjoyed being single, being irresponsible, going out with different girls, cheating from time to time from his girlfriend, owning his time and money to himself to a family person who will come home to his wife, take care of his family, provide financial support, nurture his children to be good citizens, give the best education, an environment away from harm and bad influence. Now isn’t that a responsibility? Big time, huh?! Imagine how hard to mold someone with the right attitude? When you yourself enjoyed whatever there is to enjoy in life. Most of us will agree that we don’t want our future children to experience what we had experienced. Would you rather stay single and benefit from all other pleasures of life or carry this burden on your shoulder? Do you think you are ready to commit to such role?

Maybe we cannot blame most men who are afraid to tie the knot, if you put yourself into their shoes what do you think you will do? Just thinking about it, makes you want to run away from it, right? Though, how about a round of applause to real men who commit to that kind of duties? Removing all their rights as singles and submit themselves to total exclusivity to their wives. You heard me right, ok? Total exclusivity, alright? Not those men who do side trips before going home to his dear wife.

I am being unbiased here. All I do is talk about the partners in our lives. What about us who also gave up a lot once we said yes to the “will you marry me” question? We’ll forget about partying, shopping, owning our time and money to ourselves, and not to mention the 9 months of pregnancy and the pains of giving birth. Imagine how your body will never be the same again once you found out that a new life is growing inside us.

Yesterday, I was not in the mood to work so I call it a day. While ironing our clothes, I had watched this movie about an irresponsible man who owns nothing – no money, no work, smoke pots, have a very bad company and do not worry about his future, when all of a sudden accidentally had a lady pregnant, someone who is a total opposite of him. They met in a bar, had a few drink, had a good time, and then ended up in bed. It was a one night stand who eventually turned out to be the start of a big thing.

They were shocked when the pregnancy was confirmed. They decided to keep the baby. Both have to adjust accordingly to the situation. The man has to give up all his vices, be a more responsible individual, support his soon-to-be- mother of his child while the woman has to keep her pregnancy a secret since her job as a reporter of E! demands her to be thin and pretty in front of the TV.

It was a nice film showing the reality of a married life. It has its ups and downs. It will never be a bed of roses. Everyday it is a struggle to keep it work. It’s a give and take relationship. At first, it was hard for them to make things work, knowing each other for a few months makes it even more difficult.

Imagine if it will happen in your life. See, relationship will not work overtime. You will have a miserable life if you wrongly think that everything is automatic and you just go with the flow. It’s like a job you enjoy and sometimes love to hate. You have to work it out. It has its ups and downs of course, Sickness and Vacation Leave Benefits, Difficult boss, annoying client, even a product you want to sell is like a problem you want to explain to your partner. But at the end of the day, you still work, you still stay and you still receive salary.

Many of us were misled by our childhood fantasies and when you are face with problems it is just too hard to recover because lives after wedding were not shown in fairytales. Did you know what happen to Cinderella after she married the prince? What about Snow white when her knight in shining armor kissed her? Remember the first time you got hurt? Isn’t it the most painful of all?! We don’t know how to deal with it yet and we feel like it’s the end of the world. Then after one hurt after another, eventually we’ll get over the thought of “and they live happily ever after” that’s where life starts. Soon, when you have the time to reminisce, you’ll laugh at how you behave in the past.

How you dealt with it at that time will determine your life in the future. Be careful of your action as this might end you up as a broken person. And when you realize you have chosen the wrong turns in your life, there is no turning back. Think before you act. Ask guidance. Be with the right company. Remember that every problem has its solution, don’t let hurt defeat you. Define you future.

The Secret Revealed

Yes, it is! Five years of being together and 2 months after our marriage. And today I got a gift from Far-ouT! I really wasn't expecting it. Few days back I go gaga over one book I was reading, borrowed from a flatmate. I saw it when we were roaming around Carrefour Supermarket in City Center. While reading the backside of the book, my mind was saying "buy it, buy it." Then she said she has a copy and she'll let me borrow it. Good! Now, i save few bucks once again.

Some of you, I believe already have one but I only had mine recently. The Secret by Rhonda Byrne, copy righted 2006 has been understood by some of the most prominent people in history: Plato, Galileo, Beethoven, Edison, Carnegie, Einstein-along with other inventors, theologians, scientists, and great thinkers and now it is being revealed to the world. As you learn the The Secret, you will come to know how you can have, bem or do anything you want. You will come to know who you really are. You will come to know the magnificence that awaits you in life. (words copied from the book)

Was that really inspiring? All our lives, we kept on searching for answers to all the questions of the world. And this is the first time that I really got interested in reading one. Maybe at first, it was plain curiosity. But then while reading, the content of it made me realize a lot of things. It even answered some questions of my mind that remain unanswered until now. I becoming aware of my thoughts and the power of it to change my life and just for the record, I posted one blag! last 28th June at 4:45 PM, entitled "Ang nakatakda o Ang pagtatakda! San ka nga ba dapat maniwala." I'm not really sure if that lead me to the book, but six days after that post, i discovered it.

Let me share a few part of it and how I was starting to believe.

"The greatest teachers who have ever lived have told us that the law of attration is the most powerful law in the universe."

"A young man watched the secret and start with something small. He created a picture of a feather in his mind, and he made sure this feather was unique. 2 days later, he was about to walk into a high rise building on a street in New York City. He said he did not know why, but he just happened to look down. There at his feet, at the entrance to a high-rise building in New York City, was the feather! Exactly the feather he had imagined."

I was asking myself if that was really possible. Anyway, it was only one of the many wonders shared in the book so I did not make a big fuss out of it. Far-ouT and I went to Burjuman mall few days back...while walking home, I look down, which I don't often do, I'm one of the many who walk with head straight ahead, and there I saw in front of my foot was a feather. Right there and then I remembered the story. I smiled. I didn't share it with anyone, might think I'm paranoid. But then again, I told you, I am becoming aware of the things around me now. And so it goes.

This book was also one of the things I tried imagining owning. Though, I was really planning to buy one come payday, as a gift for our monthsary came a surprise. I told Far-ouT how I wanted to have a copy, not expecting he'll buy me one because I knew that he doesn't have an extra money till end of the month and its been a while now since the last time he gave me a gift for our monthsary. And when I received, I was so happy!

Like this story of one person who wants to own his very own copy of "The Secret" without really buying one. He got it from the people behind the book when they gave away some of it for free. He's only feeling that he already has it and so after a few days, got one.

"See the things that you want as already yours. Know that they will come to you at need. Then let them come. Don't fret and worry about them. Don't think about your lack of them. Think of them as yours, as belonging to you, as already in your possession."

I know how weird it sound sharing this. And I am not forcing anyone to believe. I am just writing this for my own record.

"Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step."

My wishlist

A lot of us considered January as the turning point of another year. Well, except for Chinese of course since they celebrate their New Year on another month. But 2008 will be a different year for me and I want to consider May as my New Year since a lot of things will transpire come this month.

As some of closest buddies know what it will be by then, I made a lot of thinking on what I want to accomplish when we reach the 5th month of the year and it’s already getting close and I am getting the tingles in silly places…started in my toes, and crinkle my nose…Colbie is that you?!

I wrote…whenever mood strikes me to note down my wish list…for May alone and afterwards. Please be reminded that due to financial difficulties and too much strain some of it might not be feasible but I included it anyway just for future reference…hehehe!

I will start with the easiest thing to do…the ones that doesn’t need too much consideration and hurt on the pocket…to the most horrible thing for me to do to myself and ian’s fortune…and mind you its way not too much riches!

Billiards. This game was one of my passions when I was in college. Ever since Ella taught me how to play, we became so addicted to it that we even sneak out of a retreat just to play…even in uniforms! You read it right…even in white colored blouse with pink lining and knee length skirt, we would go to places where you will see guys without having a shirt on, smoking and with hands full of white chalks! We had a few nice places to play as well, expensive ones…the only problem is that we were so caught up playing, we forgot that we don’t have enough money and so we need to call a friend just to get us out of there…alive! Kidding aside, it was one of the best days of my life. So I want to relive the good old days. Any of my connections can play with me, be it Ella, Lotis and Olive, even the “GUYS” (you know who you are).

Badminton. My friends and I went one day for a game of badminton in Quezon City some time ago…I remembered little of the date…what I knew then was that, I was still working with a not-so-good company. Ella with Buge…Pia with Leo and I…cannot remember if Far-ouT was with us though…Anyway…It was good, first time to play on court. As my eye sight failed me, I was having trouble seeing the shuttle cock even if it was about to hit me. I would only know that I should have hit it when it already landed in front of me. So I had to wear eyeglasses, which was of course uncomfortable…unlike rowing where I don’t have to worry where the boat was headed, all I had to do was to paddle and listen on how hard or how light our stokes will be until the word “easy.” I wish to be with the same company for this game and since I have discovered wearing contact lenses, I don’t have to worry anymore whether what I was hitting is the shuttle cock or just thin air.

Rowing. Why in the world would you think that this sport is not on my list? This is where my real life started…the one I so love. This is where I’ve met the best people in the whole wide world! And this is where Far-ouT! first laid his eyes on me! This is where I became more aware of the people and places around me, appreciate more of life could offer. I learned to use mind over matter. My existence before was more on parties, clubs, booze, smoke, sleepless nights, you name it…it still is but moderately now. Before, I can stay so late at night, but now I can’t even keep my eyes open when 11:00 PM strikes. I drink, smoke, stay late once in a while but I am more of a homebody now. In short, I became a better person. At first, my girlfriends was so shocked at the transformation but then they got use to it in time and now life is more fun now than ever before. So I want to be with these people closest to my heart.

Swimming. After a hard training there’s nothing more relaxing than swimming. Pia was the one patient enough to teach me how to swim. I never appreciated the beach and the sun and the sands until then. And now it is one of my favorite stuff.

Club. Let’s do this once in a while. I still love dancing, alright! Lotis, Olive and I are notorious on clubbing and partying…going out almost every night…ok, so I exaggerated a little. But we do grab every opportunity, never turning down a single invitation…even with short notice. Let’s party!

Bar. After a hard night of partying, I want to just relax and listen to music with few bottles of San Mig light.

Airsoft. I still remember the very first time I ever played this game. I had tiny red marks on my face because one girl hit me more than once in the face! Damn! I bought my own gun, I never got my vengeance though…It’s exciting when you are still on the game but once your out, all you can do is smoke and wait until the last man standing survived the battle. But then again, let’s do this one more time!

Wall climbing. I want to do this once again, it not only test the power of your upper body but learn to trust your belayer as this cannot be done alone. You need someone confident enough to handle you and someone who can catch you when you fall. *wink*

Mountain climbing. Nothing is more rewarding than reaching the top of the world. Climbing is difficult for the faint hearted and even harder for weak knees. But it’s worth all the pains once you reach the peak of it. With all its grandeur, you cannot resist doing it over and over again. Unfortunate event may come your way, rain, fog, uneven trail, annoying limatiks but all these and more are all part of the fun. I may not be able to do a major climb this time but a minor one will do. Bring it on!

Massage/Spa. I want to pamper my body and clear my mind even for a little while to release all my stress for hard days work.

Snorkeling. I hope I’ll be able to do this once in a lifetime experience as I never had the opportunity to see and enjoy the waterworld.

Scuba Diving. It might not be possible for May but maybe someday, not sooner not later but someday.

Rapelling. I tried it once and I was scared to death. I almost chicken out of it…while already standing on top of a building…on the wall…facing ground. Far-ouT! was waiting below… so what the heck! Now, I want to do it again.

Island hopping/beach. I’ve been to boracay…so I am eyeing Puerto Galera this time…how I wish.

Visit a new place. I wish for us to be able to afford to travel once every year. Visit a new place and learn new things from it. It will be something to look forward to.

Learn a new skill. I was thinking of learning how to drive and have my own license. As I always wanted to have a car but unfortunately luck is still not on my side. Hope after May, I’ll be able to get at least the license to drive.

New job. I think I deserve something new and a more established company. I wish for a career growth where I will be able to be of service to the company and be well compensation for it.

Shopping. It’s about time to go shopping for a few new clothes! Indulge!

Enroll in a gym. Never ever disregard your health even if it will cost you a fortune…kidding! Friends and I are just waiting for a good deal in Fitness First, we’ll definitely grab it this time.

Date once a month. We hope to keep the tradition alive.

Buy a new thingamajig. I want to buy a laptop and a new PSP! Hehehe!

There you go…my wish list starting May 2008.