Sunday, July 27, 2008

Responsibilities of Couples

It’s been 70 days, 1668 hours, 100, 080 minutes since 18th May 2008. The wedding we have waited for 1 year. You remember the fairy tale stories we’ve heard and seen while growing up? I’m sure you know that most of them ended in a wedding were they live happily ever after. Then reality bites. Practically speaking, wedding is the legal contract binding of two different people. It’s the union not only as husband and wife but of their rights and privileges as a couple. The man will then be transformed from being a bachelor who enjoyed being single, being irresponsible, going out with different girls, cheating from time to time from his girlfriend, owning his time and money to himself to a family person who will come home to his wife, take care of his family, provide financial support, nurture his children to be good citizens, give the best education, an environment away from harm and bad influence. Now isn’t that a responsibility? Big time, huh?! Imagine how hard to mold someone with the right attitude? When you yourself enjoyed whatever there is to enjoy in life. Most of us will agree that we don’t want our future children to experience what we had experienced. Would you rather stay single and benefit from all other pleasures of life or carry this burden on your shoulder? Do you think you are ready to commit to such role?

Maybe we cannot blame most men who are afraid to tie the knot, if you put yourself into their shoes what do you think you will do? Just thinking about it, makes you want to run away from it, right? Though, how about a round of applause to real men who commit to that kind of duties? Removing all their rights as singles and submit themselves to total exclusivity to their wives. You heard me right, ok? Total exclusivity, alright? Not those men who do side trips before going home to his dear wife.

I am being unbiased here. All I do is talk about the partners in our lives. What about us who also gave up a lot once we said yes to the “will you marry me” question? We’ll forget about partying, shopping, owning our time and money to ourselves, and not to mention the 9 months of pregnancy and the pains of giving birth. Imagine how your body will never be the same again once you found out that a new life is growing inside us.

Yesterday, I was not in the mood to work so I call it a day. While ironing our clothes, I had watched this movie about an irresponsible man who owns nothing – no money, no work, smoke pots, have a very bad company and do not worry about his future, when all of a sudden accidentally had a lady pregnant, someone who is a total opposite of him. They met in a bar, had a few drink, had a good time, and then ended up in bed. It was a one night stand who eventually turned out to be the start of a big thing.

They were shocked when the pregnancy was confirmed. They decided to keep the baby. Both have to adjust accordingly to the situation. The man has to give up all his vices, be a more responsible individual, support his soon-to-be- mother of his child while the woman has to keep her pregnancy a secret since her job as a reporter of E! demands her to be thin and pretty in front of the TV.

It was a nice film showing the reality of a married life. It has its ups and downs. It will never be a bed of roses. Everyday it is a struggle to keep it work. It’s a give and take relationship. At first, it was hard for them to make things work, knowing each other for a few months makes it even more difficult.

Imagine if it will happen in your life. See, relationship will not work overtime. You will have a miserable life if you wrongly think that everything is automatic and you just go with the flow. It’s like a job you enjoy and sometimes love to hate. You have to work it out. It has its ups and downs of course, Sickness and Vacation Leave Benefits, Difficult boss, annoying client, even a product you want to sell is like a problem you want to explain to your partner. But at the end of the day, you still work, you still stay and you still receive salary.

Many of us were misled by our childhood fantasies and when you are face with problems it is just too hard to recover because lives after wedding were not shown in fairytales. Did you know what happen to Cinderella after she married the prince? What about Snow white when her knight in shining armor kissed her? Remember the first time you got hurt? Isn’t it the most painful of all?! We don’t know how to deal with it yet and we feel like it’s the end of the world. Then after one hurt after another, eventually we’ll get over the thought of “and they live happily ever after” that’s where life starts. Soon, when you have the time to reminisce, you’ll laugh at how you behave in the past.

How you dealt with it at that time will determine your life in the future. Be careful of your action as this might end you up as a broken person. And when you realize you have chosen the wrong turns in your life, there is no turning back. Think before you act. Ask guidance. Be with the right company. Remember that every problem has its solution, don’t let hurt defeat you. Define you future.

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